We love to be by the side of our friends both during happy as well as distressful times, though for some they like to keep it in solitude. True friends are those who partake in our sorrows and even celebrate our joys. A lonely existence is preferred by some but it becomes a baggage when we do not have anyone to share our stories, excitement and anxiety. School, colleges, offices and these days social networking sites are some of the places where we meet new people and a couple of them turn out to be our bosom buddies. Sometimes even when we have a couple of friends, we desire to have more, as is basic human nature. Listed below are the easy ways in which you can make and earn more friends.
- Try and find people with common interests
Nothing gels more than similarity. Though the ‘opposites attract’ notion works at some levels, it is semblance or likeness in interest that mostly works wonders. If you and your friend are in different pages in almost every issue and have nothing to do in common, you may as well remain disgruntled. Better it is to find people who share at least some of your views and ideas and encourage them. Who knows, maybe while reading books, or playing video games together, you may become best of friends with a couple of people.
- Strike up a conversation
Yes, this is often the most difficult part. Maybe you want to talk to someone and eventually befriend him/her but you don’t know how to start it all. So for this purpose, you can just go and strike up a conversation with that person. It can be on a daily random matter, do not go overboard and discuss politics and the nation just to impress perhaps. If talking about heavy-duty issues work for you and the person concerned, you may as well go ahead and do that though. There is a possibility of receiving a cold-shoulder from a stranger but that possibility should not deter you.
- Join a group or society
This is one of the easiest ways to meet new people and get to know them. If you join a debating/literary/photography/environmental society in your school/college, chances are that you will meet other enthusiasts and they may as well be your probable friends. This point ties up with point number 10 about common interests and as you work together for that group and organize events for it and even promote it, you end up spending a lot of time together. So hanging out together propels the possibility of a good friendship.
- Help people and be kind
Now this point should come with a rider. One should always help a person and be kind but that should not just be with the ulterior motive of winning him/her over. If it is in your nature to be nice to people, you will eventually end up being that. This kind and helpful attitude of yours will help you in winning more friends as all we need in friends are a bit of care and perhaps honesty.
- Be confident about yourself
A lot of people are hesitant about putting their points across thinking that he/she may be wrong and eventually may become the butt of all jokes. This lack of confidence in talking to a person or a group of people or a sense of inferiority hinders the possibility of a blooming friendship. Also, if you think that you lack a certain aspect in your personality to befriend a certain kind of people, do not feel ashamed or low about it. Everybody is lacking in something or the other and hence you can actually find people who appreciate you for things you possess. So do not be under-confident and flaunt your individuality with élan.
- Social Networking
In the age of Twitter, Facebook and Whatsapp among others, making friends have become just a click away. It is true that many of us feel that virtual medium is not the right way to meet real people but I bet that many of us have met new people and have been introduced to their worlds over a Facebook chatbox or a GTalk. Through social networking, we can meet people whom perhaps we would have never encountered in real life due to physical distance or even different domains of work/interest. Social media makes all of this easier and for people who are not very comfortable /confident talking to strangers in real life can even resort to this. This too comes with a rider that because you do not know your virtual friend and is almost believing in what he/she tells you about themselves, you should always be careful.
- Socialize in reality
Now this is what you can actually do instead of / besides making friends in the virtual world. We often sit with a number of friends and then we see a couple of them continuously sitting and typing on their mobile phones. The virtual world threatens to make our real life communications redundant and obscure. In order to maintain a fine balance, meet people in real life, hang out and talk to them about your experiences and interests and go beyond the green of Whatsapp and the blue of Facebook and add diverse colours to your life.
- Don’t overindulge on the ‘cool’ factor
A number of people, usually out of peer pressure look for friends who match certain predetermined criteria about a very ambigious ‘cool’ quotient. He/she may be one of the most popular boys/girls in your campus or your office and you may as well think that being in close quarters with that person will fetch you popularity but then, you should think twice. If hanging out with a popular person and being under his/her illustrious shadow is your only aim then you may as well go ahead with this idea. If you want to make a friend, try and look for the right reasons to be with that person, and that person may as well be a popular person but that can’t be the only reason.
- Stop making enemies
So the simplest thing you can do to make more friends is to stop making enemies. If you develop a bad equation with almost everyone around you, the truth is that you will remain a loner. This is the problem faced mainly by people who are extremely straight-forward. To those who think that the whole wide world around them is a bad place full of bad people, then you may choose to remain oblivious to them. But if you intend to make a couple of good friends, you can’t be disliking and rubbing all of them the wrong way.
- Be yourself
The golden rule to make more friends is to be yourself and not to try and imitate others. If you try to be somebody else and step into their shoes then your probable friends may prefer him/her over you any day. Now you may say that it is a contradiction when one asks you to be confident yet says that remain like you are. Well, the crux of the matter is that improve on what you think are your shortcomings and changing what may actually bring out a better you. Changes should be done to better yourself but at the same time retain what makes your basic essence.