Speaking the truth is what every parent wishes to inculcate in their child, but not every time their teachings show the expected results. It is very disappointing to come into the realization that your child tells lies at times. But instead of scolding or beating your kid, you should try to know what reasons drive your child to tell a lie. Children’s minds are very tender and they are shaped easily from what goes around. Understanding their psychology is what parents must aim at in the first place. Here are some common reasons why kids lie to their parents.
The biggest fear in every kid’s life is to be scolded and punished for their mischiefs. This is the reason why kids cook up different types of imaginary stories to save themselves from their parents’ scolding. As they see all doors shut for escaping, they tell a fib. From putting the blame on siblings or pets to forming false excuses of stomach aches for not studying, kids use all these tactics to get away from the anger of their parents. They feel unsecured while telling the truth, knowing that it could lead to thrashing and scolding from their parents. Slowly, with time this becomes a habit as they feel safe to take refuge in telling lies.
2. A ‘No’ from Parents
Kids often lie for the fear of being denied from parents what they ask for. Sometimes they wish to go for a party or a simple get together at a friend’s place but the previous experience of not getting consent from parents pushes them to cook up lies like they are going for a group study or to take notes from friend. Kids fail to understand the reason behind the denial and this leads them to take support of lies. However, if a parent opens up with the child about why he/she is denied to do certain work, there would be no space to keep secrets or tell lies.
3. To Maintain a Good Image
Many a times parents compare their child with others and this creates a sense of jealousy as well as despair in the child. In order to be praised and loved by their parents, kids often tend to tell lies to their parents. This could be seen when some of the kids try to tamper with their report card marks or boast about being praised by teachers in the school while they would be scolded almost daily in school. The best way to restrain to child from doing so is not to nag him/her all the time by comparing with others and try to explore and encourage the hidden talents they might have.
Kids generally start following one or the other celebrity, movie character or even cartoons for that matter and try to take inspiration from the characters they see on T.V. They feel inclined to imitate their idols and sometimes go to the extent which is not appropriate for them. Sometimes, kids take bad examples and try to talk, act and behave as their idols do and this takes them to a wrong path. Suppose they idealise a cartoon character which tells lies and bullies other people, the kid in order to follow, would also start doing the same. In such cases, parents need to keep an intent eye on their kids and should control what their kids are watching and whom they are appreciating and following.
5. Profitable Motive
We know that today almost every person is driven by their personal profits. Although we don’t inherit these selfish qualities by birth but imbibe these as we come in touch with the ways of the world. From a very early stage kids start learning to work in order to gain some profits. The very basic example of this could be seen is when a kid is told to studt hard and get good marks in order to get gifts, chocolates or toys. This teaches them the hunger of taking profits and when they fail to stand up the expectations of parents, they lie.
In the early stage of life, kids have the basic nature of speaking what is truth but sometimes parents fail to respond with patience and react in an explosive way. So, the next time, scared of the same kind of reaction which includes scolding and even beatings, the kid prefers to tell a lie so as to be exempted from the scoldings or rude behaviour of their parents. Suppose if a kid breaks some expensive vase and gets thrashing for accepting his/her fault, the next time he/she would tend to escape by putting the blame on someone else. The best way to deal with this situation is not to react with anger, rather handle it with patience and calm.
7. Restrictions put by Parents
Freedom is what every human is tempted to. Kids are often denied freedom of choice and are subjected to various types of restrictions like early curfew timings, how to dress, where to go and so on. Too many restrictions cause kids to lie to their parents. They do so in order to break away the chains and embrace the freedom and openly opt for the choices they want to. They start making up stories at various occasions so as to escape further interrogations. It is good to keep kids in discipline but parents must also consider and see that it should not become a shackle for their kids.
8. Encounter with the lies of Parents
If you want to get good results from your kids, it is better to set good examples in front of them. Sometimes, kids come across the lies that parents have or had told in order to escape from a situation, be it for their personal lives or the professional. This imprints an image in the minds of the children and they feel it normal to tell a lie so as to come out of awkward situations.
9. Strained relationships
The environment within a family needs to be healthy and pleasant for the overall development of a child. In those families where relationships between parents or with other members are strained, kids feel trapped and if some adverse condition comes up, they try to dodge it with a lie to maintain the peace in the family. Kids then feel repose in telling lies and run away from speaking truth so as to bring peace to the family apparently.
10. Peer Pressure
For parents it is important to keep an eye on what company their child is keeping. It is a widely accepted fact that, your personality is moulded to a greater extent with the type of friends you hang around with. Sometimes, kids fall into bad company where they are encouraged to tell fibs to their parents and teachers. They fall in trap of such friends and behave in the same manner as others want them to, for the sake of creating a bold image in front of them.