People say matches are made in heaven. We hunt for our ‘match’ or the perfect partner throughout our life. Yes, we date quite a few or many, but we plan to marry with only ‘the one’. We realize that with that one person, feelings are different than the rest. We take vows to love, protect and stay faithful to each other. Moreover, we promise to be with that person through thick and thin. However, how many of us actually stick to our words? Marriages require two people to put in a lot of efforts and keep their indifference aside. However, Time is no more like it was at that as it was during our grandparents time. Time has changed everything.
The task of marriage is not easy. The most loving couples can also fall apart. For some couples, divorce comes in early, and they choose to separate within some years. Whereas, there are some who spent years together and still want to separate.
To pinpoint the exact reason why marriages fall apart is difficult. That could either be because of several reasons or just one.
However, to discuss some of the main reasons why marriages fall apart are:
The beginning of any relationship is always interesting. As the years pass, the spark between both the partners fades away, and they begin to lose interest. There remains nothing new to discover in each other.
With things becoming monotonous, couples start to spend less time with each other creating a gap between them. They tend to look for other things to keep themselves occupied and happy.
Spending time with each other remains an important part of any relationship. Even discussing a few things on everyday like what they do whole day can help the relationship not slip away.
2. Unmet Expectations
No matter how mature and independent we claim ourselves to be, we all expect. These can be as petty as expecting our spouse to come home early from office to something serious. However, the problem arises when these expectations are not met. People tend to build a pile of all the times they were hurt for the same. This at a point of time makes us wonder the priority we hold in our spouse’s life.
Some people choose to let go of the other person just because they fail to understand the other’s expectations. The best way to avoid it is to let the other person know what one is feeling before it costs the relationship.
3. Trust Issues
Trust is the base of all relationships. Relationships that lack trust are sure to break sooner or later. It is very important to have full faith in your partner.
Doubts can occur due to various reasons. However, doubting can make the partner irritated. It could lead them to not wanting to continue with the marriage.
Addiction could be to anything – gambling, smoking, drinking, drugs, etc. being some of them. Often people find it very difficult to let go of these. Others don’t see enough reason to stop.
It will give a lot of mental stress on the other partner and creates a space for significant quarrels and fights and can also lead to domestic abuse. The effect of this is not limited to the couple, but also affects children growing up in such an environment like this.
But like they say, old habits don’t die quickly. The other partner finds it more comfortable to end the marriage than deal with the constant quarrels.
Sometimes it becomes a habit of a partner, or both of them to abuse the other person. As easy as it is to start, this never stops. Abusing your partner is disrespecting them at all levels.
Not just physical but verbal abuse creates a similar impact on the emotions of a person. Even though the abuse stops and the wounds are left to heal with time,, it never really does. Once compassion is lost, the marriage slowly dies.
6. Ego Clashes
Ego kills many strong marriages. The base of any relationship lies in listening to our partner’s point of views. Sometimes, we don’t want to listen to or accept a certain point just because it hurts our ego. Often winning an argument becomes more important to us. This, in turn, makes us lose the relationship, which we fail to realize at the moment.
Ego also interferes in the way of apologizing to our better halves. It is essential to understand and accept your partner as your equal, if not more.
7. Lack of Self-care
When in the dating period, one tends to put a lot of efforts to look good. However, once married, people sometimes completely tend to stop taking care of themselves. They tend to gain weight and stop going to the gym, or even regularly exercise. They don’t invest enough time on themselves.
Although people are far for accepting the truth, looks do matter. With a partner who doesn’t look up to the mark, the other one is likely to shift away and lose interest.
8. Investing Too Much
Some people tend to invest too much in the beginning of the marriage. It goes to an extent that their lives revolve around their partner and the marriage. They tend to give up on their dreams and passion. Some people even take the step of quitting their job and stay at home and look after the household needs.
These people forget about their needs and want. They stop looking after and taking care of themselves. This leads to boredom and frustration when their partners don’t reciprocate the same. Too much investment from one partner often leads to many unspoken expectations of theirs. All these together forces one to walk out of the marriage.
9. Unhappy Sex Life
A healthy sex life sure plays a very important role in any relationship and marriage. The physical intimacy two people share before and after marriage sure plays an important role in keeping the bond alive. So, not getting the desired physical touch from one’s partner can have a negative effect on one’s mind. It could be due to various reasons like heavy pressure at work and hardly getting time for personal life, work requiring too much travelling and hence two people not being able to physically be with each other, or in the worst case one or both partners losing interest overall.
As the absence of sex can cause a negative effect, so can too much of it. It is very much possible that one’s lust overcomes the love and desires and might force sex even at times when the other partner is not willing to making the other evidently unhappy.
Infidelity can cause the most serious damage to any marriage. If even one of the partner is involved in infidelity, they almost immediately fall out of love. It is never easy for a person to accept that the one they so dearly loved would cheat on them. This causes a lot of distress to the other partner that they might choose to end the marriage.
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