We all encounter some kind of scuffle or fight at least once in our lifetime. Most of the time a lot of people find it fun to be the by-stander and watch other people beat each other to a pulp. While the prospect of a physical altercation might be fun in theory, it sure isn’t something you’d want to engage in, in reality. After all no one fancies a black eye or a bloody nose. Of course the term ‘fight’ does not just refer to physical tussles. It could also mean verbal arguments between people. While the second definition is a quotidian phenomenon in families, between spouses and friends, it isn’t life threatening. It might just lead to some unpleasantness which can be handled tactfully. But when it comes to a fist fight with blows being exchanged, then that is something to be wary about. It could seriously harm your being and lead to long term damages. So here are a few ways you can avoid a scuffle. Most of these tips are applicable to both physical and verbal fights.
10. Patience is key
Whether it is a physical or verbal row, it is best to show patience. Displaying some patience with the other person is not a sign of weakness. In fact it shows that you are mature and strong enough to consider the other person’s point of view as well. If an argument is turning into a physical altercation, then showing some patience with the other person might just save you from a lot of trouble. When you are patient, you can think straight and handle the situation sensitively to your advantage. Needless to say, this tip is applicable to verbal arguments as well. You will surely be able to maintain peace if you show some patience.
9. Controlling Emotions
In a fight, flying off the tangent and becoming increasingly worked up are just indicators of how untamed and unruly your emotions are. It is understandable that some things just manage to work you in to a frenzy. But that is no excuse for flying off the handle and throwing a temper tantrum. Rage never solves problems. It exacerbates it, and sends the problem spiralling out of control. When you have your own emotions in check, you will be able to handle jibes from your opponent tactfully and avoid getting hurt in the process. This again applies to verbal arguments as well. When you keep your emotions in check you’ll be able to think straight and strike at the root of the problem.
8. Don’t bring friends or loved ones into the argument.
One of the main reasons a fight gets ugly, is because people tend to include their opponent’s loved ones into a fight by insulting them. People tend to get angry and violent when you insult people who are close to them. Regardless of whether this is a random fight in a bar or an intimate quarrel with your spouse, one should always refrain from including their opponent’s personal elements within it. Focusing on your opponent and the situation at hand, is a much better way to handle a fight rather than bad mouthing the other person’s personal connections.
7. You’re not always right
It is important to remember that arguments and fights can be better solved if you accept that you aren’t always right. It shows strength of character to admit you are wrong even if you don’t entirely believe it. Learning to accept you’re wrong is more beneficial to you than stubbornly trying to prove your point. It calms the other person down as well, and if he’s reasonable enough he might knock it down a notch and meet you halfway in the argument. You can avoid a lot of problems by making this small gesture, no matter how distasteful you might find it.
6. Avoid Expletives
It is a usual phenomenon to see people use a cornucopia of atrocious expressions on their opponents. While venting your feelings that way might seem cathartic and relieving, it only makes the situation worse. If your opponent is hot headed you can be sure he’s going to take offense at the string of abuses you just hurled at him. Using bad language is also a sign of immaturity. It shows people you lack the quality of diplomacy and you aren’t mature enough to handle tense situations. Name calling and foul language are all signs of a juvenile and inexperienced person.
5. Body Language
If you think a fight is beginning to rear its ugly head, it is better to be smart enough and concentrate on your stance. Monitoring and keeping your body language in control is very important and can save you from many unpleasant situations. It sometimes so happens that when you are arguing with someone you tend to take an aggressive stance. You might raise your hands like you are about to strike your opponent or you might ball your fists up and aim for a punch. Under no circumstance should you do this, no matter how angry you are. This show of fists lets your opponent know that you’re ready for a physical showdown and things may take a turn for the worse. During a fight you needn’t cower. Adopt an assertive stance rather than an aggressive one.
4. The effect of ‘Calm down’.
This is another common feature in fights. Most people end up telling their opponents to ‘calm down’. This generally turns out to be counter-intuitive, and the other person goes into a frenzy.When the other person is charged,tensed and ready for a fight, commanding him to calm down is only going to get him more angry. He perceives this as a direct command to intimidate him and silence him once and for all. The phrase ‘calm down’ usually ends in missing teeth and broken jaws or in the case of a more intimate row with a family member or spouse you’ll have books making contact with your head.
3. ‘Sorry’ goes a long way.
During a fight or an argument, saying the little magic word ‘sorry’ takes you a long way. Saying you’re sorry isn’t a sign of defeat. It is just a way of saying that you are willing to let go of what happened and move on. You will also be perceived as the bigger person who doesn’t subscribe to pettiness and has better things to do than get into a brawl. Again this little tip works in a personal environment as well. A little sorry will put a smile on the other person’s face and you can forget all about the unpleasantness and move on.
2. No Kid zone
It is highly unethical and just plain wrong to fight or create a row in front of children. Not only does physical violence traumatize them , it also sets an extremely bad example as well. Kids are impressionable and it is up to you to take a mature stand while settling arguments. And it isn’t just physical altercations that scare children, the continuous babble of feuding parents disturbs them as well. So it is best to keep children away from fights.
1. Take a time-out
If you feel, the conflict is getting out of hand and you aren’t able to keep yourself in check, then it is best you just take a break. Don’t argue, don’t plead, don’t do anything. Just walk away. It helps sometimes to just throw your hands up in the air and take some time to cool off. Go get some fresh air, calm yourself, clear your head and learn to let go of the anger. While you take a break, the other person will have had time to cool off as well, and you might be able to resolve the problem amicably.
Always bear in mind that quarrelling has never and will never resolve any situation.