Did you know that out of 49 oldest people in the world, only 2 are men? No? Then pay attention. According to many historical records, this survival advantage of women outliving men has been around for a very long time. Many theorists have wracked their brains for answers, starting from black magic to sheer luck, yet they have all come out empty handed. Recently Wikileaks leaked a report that some scientists from the “crackpot committee” were suspended due to their inability to solve this enigma, which further led to rumors of the world going to end. After many sacrifices and perilous endeavors, one man and only one man (me :p) was able to solve this mystery which aptly highlights the reason as to why men are constantly under the death hammer. Check out these top 12 hilarious reasons as to why women live longer than men!
Warning: This list is for people who love wit and humor.
12. Because women know bombs and axes are not exactly best buds
The relationship between machines and men is a very complex one. While machines and devices know what they are capable of, men seem to overlook the fact that they are not immune from everything. This image aptly portrays the real reason as to why men die like flies in war.
11. And that digging under this rock isn’t exactly life saving
And men also seem to overlook the fact that physics exists in this world. This image depicts a huge rock being supported by bamboo beams, while this does work in real life but it doesn’t work all the time. Without safety precautions and proper work outfits, men are exposed to life threatening situations daily.
10. Because women know the contact number of the movers
Women are non-hesitant to spend a few bucks to get things done. But, obviously letting all the work being done by others, bruises the ego of men. Men consider themselves as real life supermen who can do anything, no matter how dumb the solution is. Common misconceptions like- “I can catch it, just throw the damn thing down” puts a huge number of men population in serious peril.
9. And they know that they are not from Hogwarts
Even if men get matured, they never grow up and still think that they live in a fantasy world. Crazy antics and activities are just the byproducts of vivid imagination of men, who consider themselves as Elves from Lord of the Rings. No wonder, men are exposed to life threatening spells and magic daily by Sauron and Voldemort.
8. Because for men simple household work is a matter of life and death
“I can do that!”- is a common slogan which is always on the lips of men. Without needing safety equipment and precautions, men tend to put their life in jeopardy over common household chores like painting, moving, etc. Who can blame them when they are cock-sure of their superhuman powers?
7. Especially with a ladder in the mix!
Men are especially fond of “ladders”. No matter what happens, they utilize it in all of their “great” work. In doing so, they forget that a ladder works on the principle of physics and that it shouldn’t be supported by an uneven surface. Women don’t do such silly things and instead of pretending to be “Daredevil”, they call for help. One more important point, who can blame men when they are the one being called by women for help?
6. Because men are hardcore geniuses
Throughout history, men are known to be wise and intelligent. But, sometimes they take intelligence to the level of “genius” (pun intended), where they gain immense fame and glory. Who can argue with them when they become adamant that they can “fix that thing”? Everyone knows that human body is a good conductor of electricity, but why men seem to forget this important point is above me.
5. And not to forget, Brilliant problem solvers
Nowadays, many people cry out that women are taking over the world and are surpassing men in every field. This image aptly explains the reason of men being superseded by women. Even educated men seem to forget small things like- water is a good conductor of electricity and yet they manage to survive for so long, which is highly commendable. They are known to face dangers on a daily basis, and they never back down from any challenges. That is why they are regularly awarded for their dumbness.
4. Because women know the difference between magic and tragedy
Women like magic and they readily agree to be cut in a box by a magician, but men take magic to another level. For men magic is fiction and they try to implement it in their lives, disregarding safety. From workplace to home, a man’s life is surrounded by deadly elements and who can blame them for putting themselves at risk? Even a small table is deadly to them, that is why they rely on other men to replace it for cutting wood.
3. And they use umbrella if needed
Heat and cold adversely affects a human body, which is why men take extra care of themselves much like women who go for umbrellas. But, the thing is, men try unusual things to get comfort and refuse to walk a few yards to get the thing they need. Instead they utilize whatever they have in possession to make something comfortable out of it and set a new record of laziness.
2. Because they know when to call in the professionals
Women refrain from doing unconventional things, which puts all the load on the shoulders of men! Whereas men take it as a personal challenge to appear as “macho” in front of women. Who can blame them, when the thought of calling in the professionals never crosses their minds? Even if someone points out that they should consider professional help, then instead of giving in, they redouble their efforts to do the thing they are doing.
1. And the word “dumb” is not in their dictionary
What this guy is trying to do is above me. No one in their right mind will try to do such a dumb thing, even if they are auditioning for Dumb and Dumber 3. Women on the other hand are rational and wise, and they do not indulge in things which forces others to question their state of mind.
The points mentioned above are some of the things which threaten the life of men on a daily basis. For people who think that the lives of men are easy, think again. Men forget everything including the fact that they have an organ called “brain”, is one of the many sacrifices they make to provide for their families and friends. They require a grand salute, to be fully compensated for their job well done.