Ever wondered why you’re always the buddy? Yeah, you’re attractive, smart, you’ve got everything going for you, and yet somehow you’re not jamming anyone’s radar. Well it’s time to face facts. You’re doing something wrong. Sometimes you might not be doing anything at all. Well, we are here to bust you out of that dreaded friend-zone, and get you onto that ramp where the person you love won’t be able to take their eyes off of you.
The first thing you need to understand, is that attraction is not solely based on how you look. Sometimes you just need that little spark that turns that special someone on, and makes them long for you. So first off, here are a list of things you might be doing wrong. And after that we’ll tell you just how to avoid being the BFF, and kick start that allure to draw people towards you like a moth to a flame.
7.Trying a little too hard
One of the mistakes we always make with someone we like, is that we always put ourselves out there too much. And we do it in different ways. Sometimes you like someone so much that you’ll agree to everything they say, even if it isn’t what you really want. Sometimes you don’t have the guts to tell a friend they’re wrong about something. You’ll know you’re trying too hard to get them to like you, if you keep swallowing your opinion and not being vocal about it, all just so you can please them. This can land you into the friend-zone immediately. This will also give an individual the impression that you are weak-minded, and you can’t form opinions by yourself. Remember, we all like a little spunk, and we admire individuals who can speak their mind.
Now this is dangerous ground to tread on. Pretense is frowned upon by society. While flaunting yourself once in a while, might get you noticed, it’s important to remember to be yourself while doing it. We all loathe pretentious people. In fact, your haughty parade may throw you straight into the list of disliked people. So you might want to refrain from flashing your credit cards or your bling. It really isn’t going to impress anyone.
Being available always is like throwing the red carpet for someone to walk all over you. I know what you’re thinking. From your perspective you want to be there for your loved one, whenever they need you. But it doesn’t work that way. Always being there leads them to take you for granted. Sometimes it is necessary to say NO. Saying NO, makes people aware, that they can’t always just come to you whenever they feel like it. Your constant presence in their life is sidelined, because they won’t view you as someone special. It’s important to make them cherish your company. This way they’ll begin to realize you aren’t just any old friend of theirs ,but someone who is special.
Now this is what most men dread- a clingy woman. And this super-glue phenomenon freaks women out too. You can have killer looks, for all anyone cares. But if it means you trample over people’s privacy you’ll be flung into the friend-zone in a jiffy. No one will ever be interested in you if they know they’re the only thing on your mind. Calling someone up frequently during the day, constantly battling everything and everyone for their attention, will definitely scare them away. It’s essential you maintain distance in any kind of relationship. You needn’t be cold and aloof, you just have to value people’s privacy.
Okay, my earlier statement of how looks aren’t very important to get noticed still stands. But you need to understand, to set the pot cooking you need to stir up some chemistry. It’s hard for people to take notice of you when you’re in just regular comfy jeans or a drab old T-shirt. They might find you cute in them, but you aren’t making much of a statement either. So next time ladies, don’t settle for jeans and a shirt. Throw on that dress. And guys a casual crisp shirt with a stylish stance will grab some eyeballs. Let your loved one know you aim to impress, not just them, but everyone you come across.
2.Blah!! I’m not into relationships.
While it is good to sound casual and not whiny, you have to show that you might be interested in a relationship. If you’re going to go around pretending you don’t want that special someone when you actually do, they’re never going to understand it. It pays to show you’re interested, because everyone needs to feel wanted. And this might be one of the main reasons your crush doesn’t want to have a relationship. They don’t want to be rejected. If they think you’re not showing interest, they’ll find a nook for you on the comfy friend couch.
1. Straying from what make you, YOU
It doesn’t matter who you are always keep in mind, men love women to hang on to what makes them women. And the same applies to men too. You’re only attracted to the opposite sex because of what they bring to the game. In this case it is their masculinity or femininity. This doesn’t mean adopting chauvinism. It just means flaunting the most appealing aspects of your gender.
Now here are some bonus tips to make sure you DON’T get a seat on the bus going to Buddy Land.
Always remember NO ONE is worth your self- respect. You may tend to have feelings towards someone, but they also need to treat you right. No one respects a pushover. Your special someone may like you a lot, but you’ll only ever be a friend if you don’t speak up. Letting someone walk all over you isn’t proof that you care for them, it just shows you care little for yourself.
Tip #2.The Whine
Ever heard of the phrase “Silence is Golden”? Well, you might want to follow it when it comes to a relationship. While voicing your opinions and feelings is advisable, you have to take care that you don’t constantly whine about them. No one likes being dragged down by your emotional baggage, especially if it involves them. No matter how you feel, you need to maintain your composure and deal with it.
The next tip is the most important one of all.
Tip #1.Balance of Power
Now this is something that needs to be maintained at all costs. Remember that movie “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” which tells you the person who cares less has the most power in the relationship? It’s applicable to real life relationships as well. If you care too much you are always going to be left yearning for more. The power then rests with the person you care for. Now this doesn’t mean that power is everything in a relationship. It just means, that if you want to truly be with the person you care for, then you need to mind that precarious balance. In short you need to be interested enough in bonding with a person, but don’t throw yourself into it.
Relationships are about experimenting. You don’t have much control over them even if you follow every rule in the handbook. But it pays to have heartbreaks sometimes because you’ll never know how strong you are. And eventually it’ll teach you to handle things better in future.