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Emotions are an influential factor often studied in the neurological and psychological fields. One important concept that has come up is EQ or the emotional intelligence quotient. It has a connection with temperament, personality, and motivation. Psychologist Paul Ekman decoded to some extent the six extreme emotions: anger, fear, disgust, sadness, happiness, and surprise. What is vital in EQ is the component of emotional regulation, in which the individual handle emotions in terms of expression and repression. Emotional dysregulation occurs as well, creating a neurotic temperament, linked to studies of depression and mood-affective disorders. An optimal way to live would be to have emotional intelligence: this involves understanding and managing complex emotions and the relationships between them.
10. Situations And The CBT Model
Cognitive Behavior Therapy states that circumstances do not make people feel emotions by bringing a small change in the thinking pattern; emotions only come up when we examine a case. If we were to pause and look at situations differently, the feelings associated with that situation would change. So, when going into specific conditions, prepare yourself for what kind of thoughts you want to avoid and what kind of ideas you would like to have. If things go wrong or go well, you will have a preset thought pattern that will determine your feelings. If you go to a meeting thinking positively, then even if something wrong were to occur, you will be able to recover from it quickly.
Avoid triggers, particularly ones that arouse emotions you cannot yet control. That means do not intentionally go and get into triggering situations. In simple words, desensitization is a process that reduces your responsive emotional behavior to any case whether its a positive or negative after regularly exposed to it. Examples of desensitization like getting anxiety disorder, fear. There are some desensitization techniques like relaxation therapy that helps a person to remove doubt, anxiety, etc. The little experience that everyone would have experienced like a person has a fear of ghosts, spider, etc. His fear of that particular situation can be overcome by using precise desensitization techniques.
8. Situational Appraisal
Emotions can go out of control when you don’t consider why they come up in the first place. If you are angry, ask yourself why you are angry and what it would be like if you were not. If you are disappointed, think of why and what makes you feel this way. Sometimes, the situations are not created by themselves, but what you interpret that point of time makes you feel an overwhelming emotion. To combat this, whenever you feel emotionally overwhelmed, stop and don’t act or speak until you’re back a stable state. Once you have thought over the event, then talk. It will give you some clarity on whether the emotional reaction is logical or illogical.
7. Don’t Let Emotions Linger
Emotional states can be active, but that doesn’t mean that you have to let the emotion stay for an extended period. It is true with both positive and negative emotions: when they are long in duration, positive emotions can lead to impulsiveness, gullibility, and carelessness, while negative emotions can lead to low mood, disinterest, and lethargy and sadness. An even temperament is usually called a non-neurotic trait in a person, and in this, all feelings do occur, but let it go. These people recognize that emotions are temporary and come and go. If you let them stay, often they can end up controlling you instead. While the sentiment is there, feel it, but after some time, turn your attention to other things. This pattern makes sure that there is catharsis (a feeling of relief after some time) without subjugation to emotion. Some people wont let go of their feelings to go which causes anxiety, depression, irritation, etc.
6. Change your Thoughts About Emotions
Our core belief system, says CBT, is the original birthplace of emotions. Few things make us angry, and certain things make us sad, and so on. We are not always aware of these specific things. Avoiding triggers(reactions) based on core beliefs is an excellent way to start, but to develop further, it is best to acknowledge that though there are things which should make you feel angry or sad, these things exist in life no matter what we do. It is best to let the feeling stay for long enough that you experience it fully, then let it go. Change your thought about these triggers: that though they exist, you don’t need to go on an emotional overdrive every time you encounter them.
5. Behavioral Responses
After prevention, the next best thing is regulation. It means that if the emotion is overwhelming, if the thoughts, core beliefs, and triggers still don’t help, the next thing is to control the feeling as it occurs. Breathing techniques, counting to ten, taking a concrete step back are all methods to control an emotional reaction as it happens. It prevents undesirable and unpleasant consequences of impulsive, emotional response.
Overwhelming emotional responses may come from the learned disposition or an inherited temperament, for which there is 50% habitability. Find out if there is a history of strong emotional reactions in the family to determine if the ability to regulate is there in your family. With this information, it is easy to recognize if the behavior must be unlearned or channeled into other outputs. Various outlets can be exercise, meditation, tai chi, and any hobby that requires intense concentration. These outlets should let the emotions come out more healthily.
3. Future-Oriented Thinking
Sometimes emotions can be so overwhelming at a specific moment; that it can be challenging to look past then. One way to handle this is to think what the emotional dysregulation could do to the relationship with a person who is making you angry. Few reactions could cause negative feelings to last over a long period, effectively destroying a relationship.
2. Emotional Understanding
Everyone should have self-knowledge and aware of the psychological pattern that exists in them. What makes you have certain emotions? What are your common coping mechanisms? Are these coping mechanisms healthy or unhealthy? Are the coping mechanisms working? Answering such questions allows you to examine your behavior with a critical eye. By having an in-depth study of their psychological pattern, helps the person to have control over their feelings when any specific situation occurs.
1. Meditation and Balancing Emotion-Based Decisions
Often, our emotions guide our actions and decisions, even our most important ones, which we claim are entirely rational. One way to increase an even temperament is to meditate. Meditation increases grey matter and rewires the brain. It teaches that we should not highlight our emotions with high intensity. Balance your emotions with positive and negative aspects and let the situation go after some time. Don’t linger a particular case for a more extended period.
All these methods help in emotional regulation, which is a crucial part of human well-being. As a developable skill, the control over emotions will not always be perfect and may not align with the ideal image of emotional stoicism that you might be thinking of, but that’s okay, every person has their temperament style. What matters is patience and practice.
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