‘Friends are born, not made’. – Henry Adams
Consider yourself exceedingly lucky if you have true friends. They are our confidante. After all, we need to share those fun jiffies with someone, which rather be hidden from our family! They make our lives easier, bearable in times of crises and more enjoyable in times of happiness and joy. Even their hurtful pranks or sweet scoldings don’t bother us, since we know that they will never leave our side during adversities and are keepers for life. Some of our most cherished and memorable memories are formed with them, which shape up our lives. However, since no real relationship is complete without conflicts between the two parties, there are times when we indulge in serious fights as well.
So, here is the list of some of the common reasons as to why friends fight:
10. Constant burlesquing
There are all kinds of people in this world, and each one of them have their own unique characteristics. It can be something related to their appearance or personality. One might have a weird laughter, the other might be wearing braces, but that does not mean that we keep mocking him/her at every opportunity we can grab. Ridiculing friends is a common practice, but too much of something might hurt the other person’s feelings. Some things are better kept to oneself than declared publically.
9. Tension amongst family
There may be situations in our lives when we indulge into massive fights with our family members or our girlfriends/boyfriends which ruins our mood. It might disturb us so much that we get irritated at the drop of a hat. Somehow, we might divert and vent out our built-up anger on our friends, and they become the victim of our outbursts. However, this is not acceptable. Rather, the right course of action would be to discuss these issues with them and come up with a solution together. We shouldn’t take them for granted rather we should be gratuitous towards them and appreciate the fact that they are ready to hear out our problems and miseries in life and try their very best to make it better.
8. Annoying characteristic
Nobody is perfect. Each and every person has some characteristic or trait in his/her personality which might not sit well with us, or which might downright irritate us. Someone might have problems in maintaining punctuality. Meanwhile someone else might have a bad habit of procrastinating. we can try to improve their faults, but if we keep nagging and nit picking, it will definitely open the gates to a big fight. We should accept our friends they are; it is what makes them who they truly are and makes them distinctive. Perfectionism is only an ideal. After all, it’s the little imperfections that attract people and help in shaping true friendships.
7. Excess use of offensive language
One should maintain some boundaries whilst using abusive language, even when we are using them with our friends. Here, the situation is a little different for boys and girls. When girls get upset or angry and are about to fight, then it gets very dirty as far as language is concerned. And for boys, it simply results into a hands down fight. These situations can easily get out of hand and are equally hurtful for both the sexes. When we are about to lose our cool, the key is to always count backwards or try any other means to calm down. Remind our self that this is our friend there before us and we genuinely don’t want to hurt him/her.
6. Different mindsets
We might not always agree upon a topic of discussion or general day to day things with our friends. And that is completely fine, since no two people think likewise and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It is better to have a friend who has his/her own views and beliefs rather than someone who agrees with everything that we say or suggest. However, sometimes, this leads to situations where we cannot see eye to eye and find a common ground. Such circumstances lead to conflicts of interest, where neither of the two sides are ready to give up on their perspectives and stances.
We can be jealous of our friends on numerous grounds, be it career wise or regarding their love life. Amongst our friend circle, some may become very successful in their respective careers, and others, not so. Jealousy breeds hatred. No matter how much we like our friends, we will start feeling insecure or inferior in some way, which might result in fights. Sometimes, we might start developing feelings for our friends’ ex-boyfriends/girlfriends. This will definitely lead to an unavoidable fight.
4. Constant bitching
If you bitch about your friend, or your friend bitches about you to someone else, then it is not a true friendship. Bitching is basically making fun of or complaining about someone behind their back. It is the one thing which can break a friendship at any instant. Just making a few people laugh or becoming the center of attention for some time is not worth your friends’ trust. If you and your friend are having some issues, then the primary focus should be on how to resolve these hitches face to face. Bitching eventually becomes a bad habit and is one of the main reasons as to what breaks the pillars of a friendship.
3. Money related problems
Money is a very powerful tool, which can easily ruin relations. It will take no time to break a friendship which might’ve taken ages to flourish and bloom. This simple piece of paper is given more importance than anything else in this world. Monetary problems do arise, and are inevitable. We might loan our friend some money, we may owe them some, or it might be their time to pay the bill. Problems of such sort arise almost all the time. However it depends on us as to how we deal with them. We should not let money come in the way of our friendship with someone, because some things in this world are priceless.
2. Time distribution
One of the many reasons because of which friends fight is the lack of time management skills governed by people. If you are in a relationship, you need to distribute your time between your partner, your friends and family. You should not neglect any of the above parties. If you spend most of your time with your lover, then your friends might feel insecure and they will start distancing themselves from you. Misunderstandings arise, and friendships break. Friends constitute an equally important part of your life, so it’s better to not desert or disregard them.
90 percent of all the problems arise due to misunderstandings, and ironically, they can be resolved equally easily. Misunderstandings are the key to broken friendships. You might have heard someone say something about you to someone else, and so on and so forth. Gossip spreads like wild fire. Some people are experts at exaggerating things and adding their own tit- bits to make the gossip spicier. The best way to avoid this is to confront your friend directly. You should trust your friend more than some other person who just loves to talk and intrudeinto the lives of others.
Friendship is not something that can be taught. If you haven’t learnt the meaning of friendship, you haven’t really learnt anything.