Infidelity is a serious issue- one that has broken apart many happy families. People often find it hard to control their roving eye, and end up cheating on their partners. According to one research, about 70% of married men have admitted to cheating on their wives at least once! Cheating can be both physical as well as emotional, but the toll it takes on the partner and the relationship is enormous.
We often meet people who are in denial about the fact that they are being cheated on. A lot of people, however, simply don’t know that their partners are betraying them. Some even resort to private detectives to know whether their partners are being unfaithful. Here are ten indications that could tell you if your partner is cheating on you-
10- Reverse psychology
Now this may seem strange, but a lot of people cover up their guilt by accusing their partners of cheating on them. If you suddenly find that your husband or wife is accusing you of cheating on them, the issue may run deeper than pure jealousy. It may be that they are dealing with their guilty conscience by blaming you. This may happen because they have convinced themselves that cheating is not wrong because their partner is also cheating on them. So if you think your partner is getting into more and more fights and blaming you needlessly, it may be time to have a deep, long think about your relationship.
9- Staying out more
Has your husband suddenly stopped coming home after work, giving some excuse or the other? Is your girlfriend suddenly burdened with so many assignments from a new boss that she doesn’t have any time for you? Do you feel like your significant other is suspiciously spending a lot of time on a new hobby that they have just discovered? If these things sound familiar, it could be that your partner is genuinely busy. But it could also be that they are making excuses to spend time with a new fling. If this happens too often, and you notice a clear pattern or sudden change in attitude, you have reason to be wary. Cheating spouses often think of new excuses or blame work when they don’t want to spend time with you, so be careful.
8- Too much secrecy
No two partners would like to share every minor detail of their life with each other. A little bit of privacy is important in every relationship. But if it happens that your partner is being extra secretive about his or her life, you may have a reason to worry. If your partner suddenly closes their laptop when you enter, stops talking to you about their day, stops telling you about important things and starts cutting you off, it may be that they are sharing these details with someone else. If you notice too much secrecy in your partner’s attitude all of a sudden, ensure that this is not because they are cheating on you.
Every relationship needs a healthy amount of communication to survive. Your partner should take an interest in what you are doing. This does not mean they follow you around all the time and invade your privacy in the name of interest. This means that they compliment you if you have put effort into something, criticize you if you have done something wrong, read your messages, listen to you and talk to you when something is on your mind. If you feel like your partner did all of that earlier, but has now stopped doing so and is slowly cutting you out of their life, look into why they have suddenly become disinterested. His or her lack of interest could indicate that they are cheating.
6- Less time together
Remember the honeymoon period when you spent all your time cuddling in bed and feeding each other ice cream? While that obviously cannot continue forever, it is extremely important that partner spend quality time together. Do you think that your husband is suddenly taking a lot of outstation trips for work? Is your wife suddenly spending all her time with her girlfriends? If you guys spend time together and enjoy it, then it is good to take a break from each other and enjoy the company of others from time to time. If, however, you think that your partner would rather spend a night in office than have dinner with you even when they have no work, it could signal danger.
5- More effort into their appearance
Is your wife suddenly spending an exorbitant amount of money on make up, whereas she never did earlier? Is your husband ditching his favourite old and torn t shirts for smart and sophisticated shirts? Do you feel like your partner is suddenly taking too much interest in how they look? This could be just an experiment, but it could also be that they are dressing up for someone else. Long term partners often reach a level of comfort that does not require looking good for each other all the time. So if you think that your partner is spending too much time, money and effort on their looks, it may be that they are doing it for someone they like more than you.
4- Too much attention
It may sound paradoxical, but some women claim that their husbands pay more attention to them when they are cheating. Like point number 10, this is also a way of dealing with guilt, but in a different way. Here, the partner recognizes his own guilt and tries to assuage it by showering their partner with gifts and attention. It is a way of calming down their guilty nerves. If you find yourself suddenly receiving flowers after your husband has spent the night in ‘office’, don’t brush it off. If you think your partner is suddenly more than a little interested in how you spend your time, he could simply be making sure that you don’t land up in the same place that he is with his girlfriend.
3- Mysterious phone calls
In this day and age, phones have become indispensable. They are almost an extension to oneself. This means that if your partner is cheating on you, his or her phone becomes a valuable clue. Do you find him or her suddenly saying bye to whoever they were talking on the phone as soon as you enter the room? Are they deleting their text messages and call logs? Is there an increase in the number of work calls that they simply can’t attend in front of you? While all these may be genuine reasons, it may also be that they are talking to their new fling and don’t want you to hear them cheat. Be aware of phones that are always switched off or on call waiting.
2- Change in attitude
Now your cheating partner’s most valuable clue would be an overall change in their attitude. If from being loving and caring they suddenly stop caring about what you do, you have a problem. If earlier your partner rushed to your side every time you had a problem, but now just makes an exasperated sound and asks you to deal with it yourself, you do have a real problem on your hands. If you think you have lost the emotional connection you have with your partner, try to rejuvenate it before it becomes more serious.
1- Trust your instincts
The most important thing you can do to identify infidelity is to trust your own instincts. This is something that no list can teach you. Do not be overly suspicious, but don’t ignore the small signs either. If your sixth sense is telling you that something is off, it probably is. Do not go into denial mode, but investigate it. You could still save your relationship, so don’t ignore the small signs.