Top 10 Things you should Not do on Your First Date

The day your first tooth broke to the time you first kissed are all reasons why firsts are entitled to be framed on the wall of life. Similarly, the very first date is etched into the mind as a memory to smile for when arthritis becomes your best friend. Akin most situations this one also entails a line of nose-turning deals which shouldn’t taint the beauty of nostalgic moments.

10. Don’t be a prince-ss-ly prick

Are you a candidate of the intricate activity involving digging gold inside the tunnel of your nose? Is your index finger trained to tango with that one obnoxious pimple right in the centre of your cheeks? Then I’d suggest take a u-turn and sprint on the path of lonely time under the shade of trees. One of the essentials on a first date is the way you conduct yourself which means pricking any part of your body is a big fat no. Also, don’t be an actual prick because the chances of your future balloons of romantic indulgences would be pricked.

9. Last impressions are also impressions

Ranging from an okay one to an extremely fantastic first date, one of the points to keep in mind is how you end it. Whether you delve into the intricate formality of a handshake or the enchanting entanglement of a hug, keep in mind that even the last move could make a lot of difference. It could range from dropping off the date back home or offering to share the amount of the bill.

8. Narcissus, you shall drown

Unless you resemble a percent of David Beckham or Angelina Jolie (which you clearly don’t), avoid stringing praises about yourself because guess what that bowl of noodles your date is gobbling down might just get thrown at you, be it in imagination or real. Having fabulous hair that shines golden in sunlight or the perfect chiselled jaws girls swoon over is almost negligible if you throw spotlight on it. Be the human you were moulded to be and hopefully you won’t be the mosquito that slowly loses life in a bowl of hot soup.

7. Gluttony is g(s)in

As appealing the mere sound of food sounds, the very same can be a downfall in your first time out. Not only does the word give you a hint with the double O’s about the future size of your stomach it also can lead to disgust when you order as if it’s the last day on planet. These fine needs of life will wait for you even on stormy weathers but your unruly eating habits can lead to your date storming off. As an aid to the ones who feel extremely hungry or are in an amorous relationship with food, we the humans of Earth have taken pity and invented munchies such as nachos which can be consumed prior to the meet.

6. Burp, slurp, twerk . . . good luck!

Let’s be clear – you’re not taking George of the Jungle out. Even if it’s a simplistic hangout like dhaba, be aware of the manners inculcated in you as hopes of swaying away from the raw ancestral tendencies of hooliganism. Table manners accompanied with good body postures will automatically give you bonus cookies points. If you try to have a burping completion with self then don’t be upset when your date drops you faster than the piece of pasta you managed to shabbily slump on the floor.

5. Are you a skunk then slink away

Remember how the taste of four garlic cheese pizza transferred you into pleasure which reeled on for hours? Well, if garlic is your best friend then dating is your biggest foe. It isn’t just that one stink which creates havoc but the body odour plays a part in highlighting your personality as well. Next time you watch any deodorant advertisement (which generally focus on degrading women as puppets of smells or portrays men helplessly in love with good-smelling females) take the product and make it a habit to apply.

4. If you’re a goldfish stay in your pond

Its one thing to tiptoe your way through every imperfection but actually forgetting a date is worth an Emmy. There have been brilliant inventions like a phone device with the ability to set reminder, why not make use of it? Punctuality should be tattooed in your daily principles of life and polished like those favourite pair of boots you can’t bear to lose. Flapping your fins way after the Tsunami is over will only cease in termination. Buckle

3. Life of blue, lover oh lover, give me a clue

As a being possessed with the ability to hold a treasure of emotions, it isn’t a good idea to unlock the same while courting someone for the first time. Exes are worth chopping off with axes, money is a universal troublemaker, inflation of onion brings tears to eyes and the blue mascara will never match that favourite dress. Don’t narrate a Shakespearean tragedy for only that playwright can get away with streams of aggravations, you on the other hand Romeo or Juliet might just end up dying alone on one of your self-described desolate nights.

2. A tie a day keeps the fly away

Track-pants might be the epitome of comfort but dressing up as a street urchin for a romantic getaway is plain hilarity. Don’t be the over topping and dress up in formals either because this isn’t a business transaction. A pair of shorts coupled with a smart tee will never kill the mood nor would a pretty casual frock. If you have shabby hair, dirt happily habituating in the nook of your nails, clothes stinking and spewing tales of the nights spent in sewage drains and so on then please consult a beautician because you need a certain Manish Malhotra in that hobo life you lead.

1, Don’t be a Casanova

If the mobile device and you currently have romantic liaisons then don’t care to interact with an actual human. Constantly checking your love for updates or texts from other breathing organisms can be a put off for the one you actually hope to fall in love with. If your future holds scenarios of you plonked on the white beach of Greece making stuff on the handheld device, then walk away from requesting anyone out. You already have the soul one you need. Use the god-gifted fingers to hold hands not press buttons.

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#RTR