Wars, battles and politics, these three terms seem to be guiding our current century. However, one cannot avoid the fact that these three terms are not just concerned with national and international borders. Human beings are constantly fighting inner battles, grappling the gendered violence and the subtleties of everyday assault. Men, for long, have assumed the power over the women of the world. They have managed to reinforce this strength and supremacy through structuralised patriarchy. It is not only physical violence which is dangerous. The violence that works at very subtle levels is equally important.
It is usually observed that some men tend to behave in an aggressive way with women at home, workplace or even out in the public space. There are moments when women find themselves caught up in an extremely uncomfortable situation which is almost dangerous for their, maybe physical and also, mental peace. In these circumstances, many women are not able to deal with the problem and develop cold feet. With this article, we have tried to bring to you some ways in which you can deal with male aggression of various kinds at various places. With a hope that this would certainly help you in some way or the other, we present before you the list of top ten ways to deal with male aggression.
10. Walk Out
Be it at work place or home or even any outdoor location, if you face some sort of aggressive behaviour by your partner or male company, then you can always walk out of that ugly situation. If you do not know how to calm them down or instill some sense into them, just pick up your bag, get yourself together and walk away. This would register your protest and unease with his behaviour and also, would save you the trouble of getting into a verbal dual with the other party.
It is common that whenever a person gets aggressive, he loses control over himself and his thinking faculties. However, that is precisely what can come to one’s help in a disturbing situation. If a male boss or employee is being aggressive towards you in speech then just raise your opinion and tell them clearly that you are not there to accept that annoying behaviour. This would register your confident and strong personality in the eyes of the chauvinists and would help you get the peace of mind back in no time.
There are cases when despite having had repeated discussions over their aggressive behaviour with them, some men simply do not understand. For such stubborn smartypants, it would be an easy and effective way if you file a written complaint against the concerned authorities. However, remember that this option applies only at workplace and would not quite suit a situation of male aggression in public space or home.
7. Give It Back
Gandhi said that if one slaps you, you should turn the other cheek too. However, that cannot and should not be applied in a case of male aggression reception. If any man, be it your husband, boyfriend, friend or colleague shows aggressive behaviour towards you only due to the fact that he is a man and thereby, according to him, superior to you, then just give him a taste of his own medicine. You need to assert your identity and confidence. Be bold and give him his aggression back and watch him fall in slow motion. Patriarchy functions largely on the quiet submissiveness of women and it is only fair that you break that spell.
6. Raise An Alarm
Giving suggestions and tips on dealing with male aggression is always easier said than done. There are cases when you yourself do not have the courage to fight with the man in front of you and thereby, just bear with the injustice and implicit/explicit violence. If that ever happens, remember that the world is not that bad a place and raise an alarm. Just let people around you know that the man in question is being aggressive with you and see how you get a strong backing.
Male aggression can be of two kinds: mental and physical. If you are caught in a situation when a man is being physically aggressive with you, be it sexual on non-sexual in nature, do not stay numb or quite. Revolt. React. Response. Having had self defense lessons prior can be of great help. In case you have not yet had some basic training in the same, now would be the time to do so. If you face any sort of physical aggression, utilise all the techniques you know of self defense and get yourself out of that ugly situation.
4. Have a Talk
Intimate partner violence is a form of violence which is not physical in nature but nonetheless dominating and oppressive. If your partner’s possessiveness for you goes beyond the limits of reason and rationale, or if there is some similar issue, have a detailed conversation with him. Sit with him and tell him what is bothering you and how it is affecting your relationship. If a man is sensible enough, chances are quite high that he would understand and stop being aggressive with you.
3. Take Help
Do you feel that it is beyond your capacity to actually deal with such a situation and that you cannot do anything to stop his male aggression? In that case, take help from your friends. However, precaution must be taken that those friends are highly trustworthy and reliable and that they would go ahead and help you in this situation and not turn it into a gossip topic.
2. Calmly Explain
This might be a very hard thing to do but certainly, one of the most important and efficient ones too. Try to explain to the man in front of you that their whole concept of aggression which is based on their gender is flawed and too fragile to exist. Try to argue out your point of view and do not give in to their submission. Stay calm and maybe you will be able to make them look at the sensible world.
Do Not Deal At All
There is no reason in the world as to why should any woman be subjected to something as disturbing as male aggression. A peculiar kind of aggression which emanates from presumptions regarding gender superiority and hierarchy, male aggression is a thing which must not be tolerated. Had it been a random, usual aggressive behaviour, we would have strongly advised you to make an effort and maybe even empathise with the aggressor as usually, such a behaviour is the consequence of a disturbed childhood or haunting memory. But, male aggression does not fit into this category and hence, simply do not ‘deal’ with it. Walk away from that person because you don not need that kind of negativity in your life.